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It must be noon soon. It’s gotten noisy inside the mansion. Our meal may have been sent to our rooms already. But Haruka and I stayed unmoving. The two of us were sitting on the garden chairs blankly. We can feel the ground under our feet crumbling. We don’t have a place in this world. We don’t have any role either. There were only failures and lies.
[…………What do I do……]
I was at a loss. The only thing that I thought was the absolute thing that I help Saine with disappeared.
[After being told that, I also…… found it strange.]
[About the child?]
[Allec reincarnated a short while after me. As I was dazedly sitting during the Ceremony, the Priests-sama spoke. They said that a male Reincarnator has never been released into the town in a hundred years. They also said, ‘Let’s make it appear that his body is weak and get rid of him, but if we get found out, the Hero is scary.’]
I intently stared at Haruka’s face.
[When you got Reincarnated, you heard that a male Reincarnator gave birth, right?]
[That’s right. So when I heard about the child, I was like, ‘Huh?’. It’s been a century since a male Reincarnator came to town, right? And yet a male Reincarnator before me, at this period, gave birth, what does that mean? I wondered to myself…… It turned out to be fake, huh. There were no male Reincarnators in the town before me.]
Haruka hunched his back and rested his chin on his hand. Then he heaved a very, very long sigh.
[For some reason…… I’m so tired……]
Haruka looked blankly into the distance.
[Even if my husbands beat me and I was treated terribly, I thought that I had a certain role. I will be useful to this person and my next husband might let me work, I thought. But…… there isn’t anything that I can actually do.]
Haruka’s muttering pierces my chest. I sighed deeply.
[So e~verything was a lie, huh? Well, I guess we can’t do anything about that. We don’t have a female’s body and we also only have one hole.]
[If we were birds, we would have a cloaca. We can take care of it all in one hole.]
[But we’re not birds, though.]
[Well, you’re right.]
The 2 of us laugh.
[Kent and Duke look like it will make them happy, doesn’t it?]
[You’re right. Duke especially will be very happy. That guy finds pleasure in having s*x with his husband and he’s afraid of getting pregnant if he ej*culated inside.]
Haruka chuckled. I also laugh as if I’m swept along.
[Allec looked like he’s fine either way.]
[He is. What Allec finds great after coming here is that, according to him, even when he’s cummed inside and left it in there, there will be no problem.]
[What’s with that?]
[Oh, you don’t know about it. You’re an inexperienced and uninformed 15-year-old, on top of being straight, after all. What’s troublesome when having s*x with a man is that when you do it raw and he cums inside you. It’ll hurt your stomach if you don’t clean it out immediately.]
[Is it going to cause diarrhea?]
[I hate the tactless way you’re putting it. But, it’s practically like that.]
Ugeeh. I folded my arms in front of my stomach.
[But it’s fine here. Even if you were pumped full inside until it overflowed, nothing will happen even if you leave it alone until morning. Well, that’s why I was also deceived. I thought that if I left it alone, I would eventually conceive.]
[Since even Haruka thinks so, of course I’d be completely duped, too.]
[True. Since they don’t have a TV, radio, or newspaper, information can only be obtained within a radius of one meter. The source of information is what the person next to you is saying, and there’s no basis whether it’s right or wrong. With that said, I didn’t really trust the media in my previous life.]
Haruka laughed and stretched out his arms. Doing that as if stretching his spine, he looked at me.
[Are you going to tell your husband?]
[No way. Saine said that male or female makes no difference as long as they can give birth. He made me his companion because he thought that I am a male Reincarnator who might conceive. And yet……]
I hate it. Giving Saine to someone else. I don’t want to give him to a woman. After all, I love him. I love Saine more than the woman who will be summoned from the Ceremony in the future.
The girl will get scared of Saine. Without knowing how kind and gentle Saine is, they will speak ill of Saine as if he’s evil. Despite that, Saine will probably embrace that woman. No matter what he’s told, now matter how much he gets hit, he probably won’t mind it. Just for having the body of a woman who can give birth, and that really pisses me off.
But, but you know. Even so, she’ll still be better than a man. A man is a male, and he remains a man in the end, and he can’t give birth to a child.
[Oh no, don’t cry.]
Tears trickle down from my wide-open eyes.
[I, can’t be, with Saine……]
I’m not good enough. In the end, it just can’t be me. I, it would have been better if I were a woman. If I have a woman’s body, I would be able to stay with Saine forever. Why am I a man?
[I’m really hopeless, aren’t I? I wanted a mother’s, a woman’s body. I’ve said many times before how wonderful it would have been if I was a woman. How nice would it be if I was a woman……]
I was so, so, so frustrated, I couldn’t stop my tears. Haruka continuously stroked my back.
Tired of crying, I stare blankly at the sky. It’s the first time I’ve cried so much since I came here. It was said that when a girl reincarnated, she would be crying for a month. Then, tired of crying, it’s said that they’ll finally accept it. That situation must be like this.
To the girl who will come out during Saine’s Ceremony, you don’t have to be scared. Saine is kind so you will like him soon. So, buy some take out from time to time and have a big meal. Saine loves meat and he eats a lot.
I close my eyes and think about what happened after I reincarnated. Although a lot of things may have been a mistake, still, it was fun. My first life and my second life were fun. I close my eyes to the unpleasant things and remember only the joyful parts. Because that is what I do best. Deceiving myself is an easy task.
Refilling my determination, ‘okay’, I stand up. When I suddenly look down, I meet eyes with Haruka. My best friend nodded as if he understood everything.
[Going on an adventure?]
I frowned when I was told that first.
[That’s my line.]
Saying that, I held my hand out to Haruka. My best friend, who was born at the same year as me and should have lived at the same time, became 10 years older than me and his hands have gotten bigger. He tightly grabbed my hand with his slightly bigger hand.
[Haruke, we’re going on an adventure!]
[Ou~!] (TN: “Yes!”)
Haruka replied in a manly voice.