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I open my eyes upon being shaken awake. The surrounding is still dim. Olphynn was also shaken awake by Dole. Dole and Saine have never slept ever since entering the forest.
We were qietly moving through the dim forest. The damp grasses muffled our footsteps. Judging that this place must be it, we decided to wait here.
We sat down and waited in silence. I have also gotten used to the drizzling rain. I feel comfortable in the warm atmosphere. Although I wasn’t helpful at all, I’m so glad that I came with them. I think I saw a glimpse of what Saine’s job is like. I think I managed to understand Saine’s way of living and thinking.
A guard’s job is apparently seasonal. Once the monsters’ movements become active, clients who cross the mountains and forest decrease. It’s the quiet season now so he comes home everyday. It may take days before he can come home when it’s busy.
I will be alone in that house once Siane leaves for a job. I was also living there alone when I just reincarnated. That’s why I wanted to say that it’s okay, but I’m not confident. I don’t like being alone. I get attacked with great anxiety when I’m alone in that dark house. Even I find myself pathetic as a man, even so, I’m scared.
When Saine goes out to work and I’m alone, I wonder if I can use the house as a hang out place for the Men’s Club. It’s smaller than Allec’s former place since Saine’s house is for bachelors, though.
Come to think of it, the other houses are for couples except ours. Even though they reluctantly buy a male Reincarnator, the house is for singles. They’re husbands that hit male Reicarnators, however, I think they’re pitiful. They don’t even want to embrace a man but they’re the only ones they can buy.
As I thought, I want Saine to have a woman. Those who bought male Reincarnators are made fun of quite a lot. I already understand stuff like that. Anyone wants to have the Ceremony. They want to have it even a day sooner. That’s why, some of those who take the Ceremony before oneself and fail are envied and excessively laughed at. Was Saine also teased and laughed at in the Guards Guild? He probably was. Listening to Dole’s words, I can understand vaguely.
I looked up and raindrops were falling down on Saine’s stern face. Saine sure looks handsome even when he’s soaked. I think he’s strong, reticent, and cool. The next time Saine takes the Ceremony, I hope he tells the woman who comes out not to be scared. I will guarantee it, so I hope to tell her that she hit the jackpot and that he’s an incredibly good man.
Saine said ‘forever’. But something like that doesn’t exist. He might be happy once a child has been born, but something that good probably will never happen. Because I don’t believe that I am a miraculous male Reincarnator.
And in the end, I believe that being a man or a woman is important. The the switch of the s*xual desire of the people here isn’t released until the receive a Reincarnator, and yet, I can tell that they’re not as interested as they said they are. It’s the extension for the child, or rather, there is only the s*x with the Reincarnator before the child comes.
However, won’t it be different after doing it for the first time? Won’t they become a normal man after experiencing it once? Although kids are also important, won’t the Reincarnator become important, too? There was a husband shouting with overflowing love here, just as the ras cried before. If that happens, since they’re basically straight men, they’ll probably think that it’s better to have a woman than a man.
You see, I firmly believe that a woman is better than a man so maybe Saine also thinks the same. And even if he’s fine with me now, he’ll probably hate me once I grow. No matter how slender of an Asians I am, I’ll be a man once I mature. Haruka also looks like a plain man.
Come to think of it, Haruka told me before. That I think about the end as soon as things start. That’s a bad habit, isn’t it? It feels like I’m wasting my life. I should enjoy the present. I believe that it’s important to enjoy the present even if things will eventually end.
Even though I also know that, my head just starts thinking about the end no matter what. Thinking about the end, I only keep thinking about situations where I can’t get hurt. I rationalize it as for Saine’s sake, but in the end, I’m trying to walk towards the path that won’t hurt me.
The rain continues to drizzle. It’s gradually getting brighter. The white light of the morning penetrates into the forest and makes the water droplets shine. The forest in the early morning was sparkling and beautiful.
I wonder if the little monster will come. I squat down and dazedly wait. In order not to scare away the small monster, I wait with everyone in silence. The quiet sound of rainfall makes me think of the things that I don’t need to think about.
Does Saine really plan to do it with me? Will something change once he embraced me?
I have the desire to be held by Saine even though I’m a man. I’m totally not into men, but I want to have s*x with Saine.
I heard a faint voice. It sounded like a tinkling bell. I only moved my eyes around to look for its whereabouts, and as I was staring at the shaking grass, it came out.
A tiny, really tiny monster was toddling while crying out ‘cobble, cobble’. Rather than tottering, is it better to call it bouncing? It walks like it’s skipping.
It wear a red pointy hat, and for some reason, it’s carrying a grass on its shoulder. Its appearance looks like that of a tiny bear. Dole said that it’s around as big as a fingertip, but it’s slightly bigger. It’s a bear that’s as big as my thumb. The tiny and round brown bear is wearing a read pointy hat and calling out ‘cobble cobble’. Olphynn heartlessly grabbed the cobble right in front of me, who was moved by its cuteness.
[Cry.] (TN: AAHHH YOU BEAST!!!)
At the mere threat of a word, the brown bear shivered and began to cry. He collected its tears on the glass bottle and said, good, to the bear and throws it out. I hurriedly caught the bear that was casually tossed aside with my two hands.
[There, there. Are you okay?]
I stroke its tiny head with my fingertip. How can he treat such an adorable creature like this so unreasonably? I looked at him with a sidelong glance but the blond hunk tilted his head as if he didn’t understand what I meant. I wonder if this world also has emotions.
[Even if it’s tiny, it’s still a monster.]
Saine quietly said.
[I know that, but it’s so pitiful. It was walking so joyfully, then it was grabbed, threatened, and made to cry.]
[That form might not be it’s real form, you know?]
[You might be right but…… but it’s not a dangerous monster, right?]
[Why do you think that?]
[That’s because Saine isn’t being cautious towards it.]
When I smiled and said that, Saine’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.
[If Saine isn’t vigilant towards it then it’s not a scary monster. That’s why I’m not scared either.]
As I was stroking its head, the cobble stopped crying without us noticing and started calling out ‘cobble cobble’ again like it’s singing. I gently lower it to the ground. The Cobble bounced off and disappeared into the grass. The second he disappeared, he waved at me.